As I sit here in my nephew’s room, typing this post  on his race car sheets and looking at his Backyardigan’s chair, I realize that the next time I see him, he will be 5 years old….He will have started Kindergarten and probably be reading (hopefully).  This is beginning to make me sad….. The funny thing is, it still hasn’t hit me that I’m leaving. This inability to grasp a near reality is inhibiting my ability to be emotional when saying goodbye. I don’t want to look back after I’ve left and realize that everyone else cried but me. Maybe once I actually get on the train and leave my sister and nephew….but then, I don’t want to look crazy crying all alone on a train lol.  I really feel as if  I’ve practiced stifling those emotions in front of my family and friends because I know that it’s hard for them to see me go; and how can I expect them to be strong and not be sad if I’m crying and sad about leaving? So, I’ve done such a good job pretending to be cool about everything, that I’ve tricked myself into actually being cool about everything…..

Quick note on packing.

I’ve actually been able to keep both checked bags slightly under 80 lbs . How did I do it? I pack all a lot of stuff into my carry on because they won’t be weighing that!!! Hopefully this works and I don’t end up getting rid of stuff at the airport…then I would really cry. Included in these three pieces of luggage is: clothes, three months worth of health and beauty products, my teapot, Bob Marley poster, incense, yoga mat, head wraps, lap top, 10 books, pictures, Angela Davis poster, pillow, towel, and other stuff that I can’t remember right now. Once I get settled in I will do a very detailed packing list. Well, My grandmother is calling me so I must run. As soon as I am able, I will update everyone once I’m there. I miss everyone already

Peace and Blessings

Song: All I Need – Bilal